Mike Stoddart has worked in the wine trade since time immemorial. He wrote regular and warmly-received emails to customers, who encouraged him to take it further. He took notice, alas, and started a WordPress blog which he filled with cold porridge, albeit in generous portions. In spite of public demand, he carried on doling out the gruel to an audience which dwindled swiftly from very few to virtually none. In 2021, after more years than might suggest any self-awareness, he realised that the problem didn’t lie with the exigencies of the internet, or whatever other codswallop he might imagine, but with the fact that he couldn’t fucking write. He bowed out with a piece about a beloved Liverpool bookshop, the only time he’d been asked to write anything! It was still too long.